just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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