This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
