Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
