belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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