There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
