so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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