I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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