You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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