This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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