I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
