20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
