Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
