So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
