my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
