i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
