I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
