Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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