I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
