News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
