So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
