She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
