She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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