i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
