Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
