I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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