I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
