erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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