I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
