I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
