Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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