Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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