At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
