I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
PANTIES FOUND
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