Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he puts the penis in happiness.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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