Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
