I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She's the barista slut.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Found the puke drawer
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
