Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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