My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
