just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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