the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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