There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
