Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize