so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
