I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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