Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
