My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
