HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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