i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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