Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
