I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
