My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
