just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
