That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
this is an emotional support booty call
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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