i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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