So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I understand Curling. That high.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
