literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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