So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
